Hi there!
Today, I wanted to shed light on a subject that crossed my mind a bit, before I considered becoming a doula. Will people trust my expertise, even though I don’t have kids myself? This was a minor, but still reasonable concern. I searched around the web, hoping that I wasn’t the alone in this matter. But then I snapped back into reality. I don’t need to be a mother to become a doula. End of research.
Now, let’s get into why you should look for several important things when picking a doula, but whether or not they have kids isn’t one of them. At the simplest level, your doula is there to provide support, in many different ways. So something that would be really important is figuring out whether or not you have an organic connection with your doula; are they someone you feel safe with, someone who will hear you out and help you navigate your birth experience. I don’t doubt that it is appealing to know that your doula has been through what you are experiencing but that’s not always the case. There are people who have had what they may have considered ‘easy’ pregnancies and then there are those who have suffered through the entire experience and wish to never do it again. Neither situation makes the other more or less qualified to best help you, based on those factors alone.
However, you can focus instead on finding a doula who has a passion for the work. Someone who is unbiased and can empathize with what you are going through in a way that allows them to provide helpful and appropriate suggestions/solutions to help make your experience as comfortable and safe as possible. Surgeons put people under the knife every day and are never expected to have been on the receiving end to be in this position. We simply trust them based on our consultations with them, their training and their confidence displayed to us. Most of the time we don’t even question them at all. While being a mother definitely comes with perks and some personal knowledge from experience, just know that there are some really incredible human beings who are committed to continue making advancements in the maternal health fight, who do not have children or motherhood to directly relate to ;-)
With love,
xoMaïson d’Om